Road to Recovery and Hope: the Jason Hopkins' Story part 2

Imagine facing a life-threatening brain tumor and the profound impact it has on every facet of your existence. Join me, Jason Hopkins, as I recount the challenges and triumphs following my diagnosis, including multiple surgeries and the long road to recovery. This episode is a heart-to-heart, where I share how these life-altering events reshaped my cognitive abilities and steered me towards a scripted format for clearer communication. You'll find out why I made this change and how it helps me deliver a more streamlined and impactful podcast experience.

Together, we'll reflect on the valuable feedback from our previous episode and discuss the necessity of shorter, more digestible episodes. Balancing raw, vivid storytelling with sensitivity, I aim to connect with both trauma survivors and those unfamiliar with such experiences. My ultimate goal is to glorify Christ by offering a beacon of hope and understanding to anyone feeling isolated in their pain. Tune in for an episode filled with honest reflections, heartfelt promises, and a commitment to fostering a community where every story matters.

*The intro and outro music is entitled "Lite Saturation" composed by 'Epic,' utilized from the source Free Music Archive (FMA) and licensed for commercial and person use (CC BY-ND

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You are listening to the Hopeful Perspective Podcast. I am your host, Jason Hopkins. I am grateful you are taking time out of your day to hang with me and I want to encourage you to grab your favorite snack and drink and to find a comfortable place to be. In the last episode, you heard me share the initial portion of my life story, where I go into vivid detail of my childhood and adolescence. I have received a phenomenal amount of quality of responses and I want to say thank you for all of you who have listened to me as you have Now. If you have not listened to part one of my story, I want to encourage you to do so, as you will have a more accurate reference point for what you're going to hear going forward. I want to discuss a couple of housekeeping topics before we get into it. First, I need to address a key issue that you should know about me as you learn about my podcast. I initially wanted to wait until later in my story to disclose this, yet I recognize the effects on my listeners' expectations if I do not disclose this now.

Speaker 1: 1:07

Six years ago, I was diagnosed with a walnut-sized cancerous tumor on my brainstem. I was informed I needed this removed surgically as soon as possible and that the brain surgery I would undergo would be both rare and life-threatening. Following my first surgery, I contracted meningitis as well as a dangerous form of staph infection in the brain and was pressed into a second surgery to address these. After a year or so of physical therapy, speech therapy and various other issues I'll discuss in full later, my new and normal was established. Having been an effective public speaker as a pastor and valuing the art of communication as a counselor, I now had to learn about my new limitations. My brain stamina was reduced more than 50% and my cognitive function was affected in how I could process information and then communicate. I was required to accept that my one-time dynamic ability to comfortably engage everyone, from a single person to a large audience, was significantly affected. So what does this have to do with my podcast, you may be wondering. My old self would have been able to engage a podcast with minimal notes and a far more conversational tone than I am currently able to. I have learned that I now require a script in order to communicate in a way that doesn't totally disrupt the production value of my podcast, video, etc. You may have been curious as to why it comes off as though I'm reading to you, and that is so I can be as clear, concise and effective for my listeners' sake. With that aside, let's address the next housekeeping point. With that aside, let's address the next housekeeping point. You can expect, moving forward, that I'll be breaking my podcast into 25 to 35 minute episodes, as compared to the 50 minute version you listen to in part one of my story. I desire this experience to be as palatable and consumable as possible and, though I will not neglect truth nor authenticity of the content for the consumer, I will adjust the means in which you can engage for your sake as listeners. The third thing is, I went into sharing my story with a couple of concerns regarding the vivid, if not explicit, nature of some of the events and how I am to communicate them. I received helpful feedback from various sources, both solicited and shared from their hearts. I realize and accept that for some people, I perhaps was overly graphic in my description of particular sensitive events that occurred to me. I want to share that. My faith in the Lord is number one in my priorities when I share, and you, my audience, are number two. You, as the audience, are key to what I am doing here, as difficult as it is to maintain balance and tension between our various levels of capacity, maturity, triggering and being empathetic. As a pastor and person, my hope is to communicate effectively while not isolated nor excluding a portion of my potential audience through my content. That said, I have two priorities in sharing my story with you that are part of me glorifying Christ. Number one, that I communicate to those who have not experienced the trauma of the events you are hearing that you recognize both the depravity and pain that one goes through, beyond generic terms and talking points. And number two, that those who have experienced said traumatic events can realize that their own pain is not going to be silenced nor dismissed. They can take solace in the fact that they are listening to someone who has been in it, been through it and come out of it on the other side to profess hope. I want to encourage you all to maintain your fervency in communicating to me your reactions and responses to what you hear. Beyond helping me to make this podcast more effective, I absolutely love to hear how the hopeful perspective is impacting you as well, as I enjoy hearing the stories and testimonies of hope people have shared in their own life. Further. If you are enjoying the hopeful perspective podcast, I would greatly appreciate if you would take a moment to write a review, to follow, subscribe and share the link on social media, as well as by word of mouth, to others who can benefit from the channel. This enables the reach to grow wider and allow others who need to hear and experience the hope that you have heard for yourselves. Now let's get down to why we are here. I concluded last time having shared that I graduated high school and found my way to college. As the first person in my family to accomplish this, I found my way to Southern Oregon University in the beautiful town of Ashland, Oregon. The tales I heard of this beautiful town, located a few miles from the beautiful Siskiyou Mountains, was that it was famous for its Shakespeare festival each year, where actors and people dedicated to the performance arts would come and experience plays and performances between May and October. Further, I heard that Halloween was a huge deal in Ashland, where the town and its people go full out in recognition of the holiday. The author RA Finley wrote a novel series based in the area, full of secret societies, witches, magic and mystery. I was forewarned by people who knew of where I was headed that, beyond the extreme liberal political leaning of the area that I was to be aware of spiritual battles that were there to greet me. I remember my first day in the dorm in my freshman year. My dorm room was as advertised in any movie you could watch and I was fortunate to get a roommate who was a terrific guy and particularly easy to get along with. Our dorm resident assistants were awesome in my young mind in the fact that they allowed all incoming freshmen freedoms and abilities to operate relatively unimpeded. Once I learned the ropes of the place, the layout of the campus, I was ready to dive headfirst into the college life. I remember my first college cross-country. At practice I was so nervous to run with the caliber of athlete that I was certain I'd be competing with. The coach was kind and emphasized all the typical talking points you might expect, with a little more placed on the value of our classes and grades. I recall that specifically, as I learned firsthand and relatively quickly the prophetic nature of this. You see, my first year of school would be summarized as this me coming out of the protective, restrictive and regimented cocoon as a foster kid and blooming into the social butterfly that didn't recognize either his potential nor his limitations. I would learn I was a leader. First by helping to organize illegal dorm parties. I would attend these as frequently as they were held and I enjoyed the socialization and especially the girls who were there. I thus began to engage in sexual relationships with women at a rate I had never known before Now. I had lost my virginity in high school and, if you recall, being a good recent convert to Christianity, I did desire to be good in college. My youth immaturity all served as obstacles in living out the new faith and its values I had found. Living out the new faith and its values I had found While my occupying whatever social event or on campus checked off the maximum in boxes. My class attendance that I so valued in the past became more and more optional as the fall term went along. Midway through the term I was dismissed from the cross-country team due to the fact I wasn't pulling the grades nor attendance I needed to. Any disappointment I was feeling would be anesthetized by my social life I held and the alcohol I consumed. I had yet to meet any other believers in my first half of the term until I met a young lady who became one of my best friends at Southern. She was a beautiful woman, inside and out, a believer, and she invited me to her church, which was local as she was from the area. We also shared in the commonality that she was to run track in the spring, as was I, if I could ever get my academic act together. Two significant facts marked the rest of my journey at Southern. I would go to church with her on Sunday at Applegate Christian Fellowship and absolutely love my time as well as the teaching of Pastor John Corson there. This also meant I would be heavily convicted and moved by the Holy Spirit regarding my debaucherous activities during the week. I recognized this intense spiritual battle waging inside of me. Unfortunately, my flesh was too strong and my feet too weak to make substantial changes to my routine, and so it was commonplace for me to wage this battle on the weekend at church, when I would attend and yet resume my activities during the week. Fall turned to winter and I ended up being connected with two guys in the Green Springs dorms on the east side of the campus. They were believers. In addition, we got along well, enjoying similar hobbies etc. We became so close that I decided to move into their dorm. We would all go on in the future to be in one another's weddings and cemented ourselves as lifelong friends. They were my first good friends to this point that I knew had accepted me for me. Now I had one other friend from high school that disqualified for well outside of my foster sister I graduated with. School that is qualified for well outside of my foster sister I graduated with. Yet we hadn't come to the same understanding about each other until a few years later, once I moved past my own insecurities In my relationship with Peter and Chad though I never questioned where I stood with them, nor them with me, I'd say my partying decreased minimally when I moved to the dorm with them, yet not enough to keep me out of trouble. I would end up in an unfortunate situation with alcohol, and then issues with my then RA escalated to the point I ended up blacking out the rest of the night. What happened was the police were called and I would end up eluding up to three different police agencies around campus for over an hour. I was surrounded. At the end of it I resisted arrest and then was placed in the back of a trooper's car. What I did next went down in unfortunate infamy. I ended up cracking the bulletproof window in the back of the patrol car with my head, creating damage. Yeah, you heard that right. I went to jail for the first time in my life with charges of minor imposition, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and, of course, the damage to public property for the cop car. To this day they couldn't figure out how I damaged the car. I wouldn't figure it out either until many years later, and we will get into that. When I ended up in front of the judge, I was granted mercy beyond what I deserved, with all my charges dropped except one, with my punishment to be time served and a large chunk of community service which I ended up serving in the college library. In one full swoop I ended up my freshman year of track before it began and I received a credit record in the process. My first year in college was a rough one as I gathered my bearings in life around me. The greatest takeaways I had from Southern Oregon University was the relationships and memories that would last a lifetime. But it was clear that the end of my freshman year, that my time at the college, would come to an end that summertime as I worked part-time at my old high school back in Athena for my high school coach who was the head of maintenance. I wasn't sure what my near future held. I stayed with my coach's family part of the summer and my pastor's family the rest. These two families didn't pass judgment on me for the negative decisions and mistakes I'd made the year past. Further, my coach met a friend of his at a wedding that summer who just happened to be the head track coach at Western Oregon University. They had a conversation about a certain talented but troubled kid who was looking for his path. This opened the door for me to enroll at Western the next school year. Now my sophomore year started out completely different than my first year. The college, for one, was located in the dry community of Monmouth, Oregon, that is, there's no alcohol allowed. Of course, college kids will be college kids, but the frequency and availability was far different than my experience at Southern. At this point in my journey, I can conclude that I had a full-blown sex and relationship addiction. I was filling the void I had that wanted to be loved, and I was replacing it with temporary fillers that did not fulfill my deeper longing. I could get close to people quickly, but my attachment issues forced me to push them away, especially girls. As a result, I was in and out of relationships all throughout college, most sexualized, even if not always involving sex. I somehow avoided drugs at all costs, but not because of anything I was doing, particularly for a moral reason. I just didn't have the desire to try them, Alcohol though I was willing to drink. But my sophomore year, all that, for the most part, changed. I ended up growing deeper in my relationship with Christ that had been on hold for two, most part changed. I ended up growing deeper in my relationship with Christ that had been on hold for two years, seemingly Through different on-campus Christian groups and Bible studies, I met who would become my best friend to this day, as well as others who mutually edified one another. At one point I was invited to speak at the local Campus Crusade for Christ. As was known, I had a remarkable story to date. This would be the first time I spoke in public, first time I'd ever share my story. I can still recall the nerves I felt as being different from anything I'd ever experienced before. I used John 10, the story of the vine and the branches, and I proceeded to share my story to just over 200 college kids. I recall that you couldn't hear a single pin drop in the auditorium room. When I was finished, there were tears. I spent a lot of time with people praying afterward and then a most remarkable event in my life occurred. Two girls from out of town who were visiting friends on campus came up to me. They told me that they were Portland State University students and that they had heard my life story in a psychology class that looked at actual case studies of foster kids their names excluded, of course and proceeded to tell me parts of my life I hadn't shared that night. I was stunned at first, not knowing how to respond. Yet it was clear that God had brought those girls that night to encourage me and to confirm in me my true calling. You see, that night I heard the Lord reinforce in me that sharing my story and preaching His word would be my future. My mission following this was to bring as many people into the kingdom as I could. My mission following this was to bring as many people into the kingdom as I could. My best friend and I had many conversations with people all over campus about the love of Jesus. In between ping pong, pool, intramural sports and beach trips on the weekends, there was just one problem I had replaced partying at Southern with Jesus at Western and I wasn't going to class like I should have at Western Oregon University. Don't get me wrong I would go to some classes and I would receive some credits, but not enough to satisfy the minimum. To run track in this newfound opportunity I was given, and not enough to maintain financial aid, I needed to be at school. My days at Western appeared numbered by the end of the winter term, so my adventure would travel even further north along the I-5 corridor to Portland and more specifically the Gresham area. My best friend had been dating his high school sweetheart. An addition had elicited into the Marine Corps. He wanted to move back home and we came up with the idea that I didn't have a direction or an actual home to go back to, so I might as well just come to his neck of the woods. So I was off again, leaving people and opportunities behind me, many that I let slip between my own fingers. I enrolled at Mount Hood Community College. During my time staying with my friends and his family, we eventually rented a little studio apartment off of another friend's house, who we knew from college, Just big enough to house the two of us, but small enough to know it had to be temporary. During our time there, I would go to church at his home church in a town literally named Boring. We attended college group. Some ended up being also in our college classes during the day. Eventually, I ended up meeting one such person who converged in both college group and class, who was super fun, social and cute. Her name was Cassidy. I would learn, and as time went on I began crushing on her. Adam and I organized a double date with his girlfriend and Cass at a Portland Trailblazers game, and that was the first of many dates with her. I was working part-time at this point and attending class part-time as well. Except at this point, I was fully participating. Eventually, following another friend date at a Newsboys concert where we both experienced the anxious young love butterflies with one another, I asked her to officially be my girlfriend. The next three years was an exciting adventure as we dated. She lived at home with her parents and was attending Mount Hood to receive her prereqs before she went to Concordia and I wanted to pursue Bible college to earn my degree in theology and ministry. While she was learning about my upbringing, she also began to witness firsthand the challenges that I was presented with. For the first time in my life, in combination with her parents and my girlfriend, I had someone who was willing to face my battles with me. You see, I was experiencing those post-traumatic stress disorder blackout episodes once again when I moved to Gresham. My friend I roomed with ended up serving a tour in Iraq with the Marine Corps, and now I lived alone. All of the recent changes and transitions in my life that were adding up, in addition to the sudden emergence of key people I could love, were all unknowingly triggering trauma of people who were at risk to leave me again, all unknowingly triggering trauma of people who were at risk to leave me again. Cass, in addition with her parents, spent many a night being with me through these episodes, which are unlike anything they had ever experienced. One night, I ended up in the hospital again, in a psych room. This time, though, it was temporary, as I had a home to go back to for the first time in my life. This time, though, it was temporary, as I had a home to go back to for the first time in my life. Cass's presence throughout all of this and her willingness to remain committed to me allowed a new level of healing to be achieved in my pain. I knew I needed to settle this deal and eventually I proposed to her. We were married three years after we began dating with my pastor from home, who was with me all those years earlier serving as our officiant. The wedding was held in her grandparents' beautiful backyard in Milwaukee, complete with a huge oak tree canvassing the seating area and a huge wall of sunflowers and roses serving as our natural backdrop. This was July 27, 2003, when our new life and love would begin. And this brings me to the next and last section of my story that will be heard next time we meet together on the Hopeful Perspective podcast. I want to thank you today for listening along with me. I want to encourage you today to know that you too have a purpose and a reason why you are alive that goes far beyond working in 95 or even being merely a spouse or a parent. Yes, those are significant roles and titles, Do not get me wrong, but you were created to hope, to love and to be loved, and we cannot experience any of this in fullness and truth without knowing the one who created us and who we were created to love. Though my story isn't yet complete. I wouldn't have made it this far had I not surrendered to the Lord Jesus Christ, who took on all the sins and the errors that I had committed, as well as the ones who have sinned against me. He also paid the price for your sins as well have sinned against me. He also paid the price for your sins as well, no matter how egregious the acts you or I have committed. He wants to forgive you and to love you, so, if you have not already, I would encourage you to consider placing your life in his hands. This means giving up control and asserting that he can now be the one to guide you and direct, to comfort you and correct you from this day forward. He is Lord of my life. Now I'm excited to share the rest of my story, which will take turns. You cannot even imagine when we resume next time. Until then, if you would be so kind to follow, subscribe, download and, most importantly, with podcasting, to rate and write a review for others who may need the hopeful perspective, know I greatly appreciate you. My desire is to reach as many people with the message of hope that have lived lives as difficult and dark as I have, and you will be the reason this happens. So thank you so much in advance and until next time, remember you are loved.