The Hopeful Perspective
Welcome to "The Hopeful Perspective" a podcast discussing what it entails to transform from a personal position of suffering, pain, loss and HOPELESSNESS toward a renewed perspective of security, perseverance, love and HOPE. I am your host, Jason Hopkins, a long time victim and survivor who has personally been impacted by the Lord to be a victor and a thriver! In each podcast episode you can expect to find authentic dialog from a Biblical and experiential perspective—that is, BEYOND mere religious anecdotes and simple academic exercise—though all used together engage how to find the HOPE that is essential in moving from a victim to victory. Survivor to thriver. Hopeless to hopeful.
Please download, share, subscribe and stay tuned for this journey with me. Leave a review to support and spread awareness for the Hopeful Perspective. As a man who has lived, studied and who truly understands the definition of not only 'surviving' trauma, but authentically thriving as a renewed creation amidst a broken and hurting world, I am humbled to share this platform with you. Prepare to be a critical thinker, a passionate responder and ultimately to be inspired towards The Hopeful Perspective. I would be honored to eventually earn your trust, and welcome you as a part of the 'Hopeful' family.
The Hopeful Perspective
Glitched: My Story of Overcoming a Traumatic Brain Injury Part 2
How do you rebuild your life when everything you thought defined you is suddenly stripped away? My journey through traumatic brain injury reveals the raw, unfiltered struggle of having to reinvent yourself while grieving who you once were.
Following brain tumor surgery that left me with permanent cognitive limitations and central pain syndrome, I found myself unable to work or function as the husband, father, and pastor I had always been. The neuropsychological evaluation one year post-surgery delivered devastating news: my brain simply couldn't sustain the stamina required for employment. This reality crushed me, sending me spiraling into the darkest depression of my life – sleeping for days straight, contemplating suicide, and seriously questioning my faith for the first time despite decades of ministry.
The physical pain was relentless – a constant burning sensation across the right side of my body that, at its worst, felt like someone drilling into my bones. But equally painful was the isolation. While support flowed freely immediately after surgery, people gradually disappeared from our lives. Only one spiritual mentor remained consistently present through my darkest days.
Everything changed through an extraordinary spiritual experience that occurred, surprisingly, during a late-night Xbox session. This profound encounter with what I can only describe as an angelic presence initiated my painful but transformative journey back to hope. It led me to implement life-changing spiritual disciplines, most importantly daily Scripture reading that revolutionized my relationship with God in ways my previous 25 years of ministry never had.
The most challenging part continues to be grieving the man I was before – with all his abilities, personality, and purpose. Yet through this ongoing process, I've discovered a new calling: sharing authentic hope with others facing their own seemingly impossible circumstances. I've learned that true strength isn't found in independence but in vulnerable surrender and that purpose can emerge from our deepest pain when we allow ourselves to be transformed by it.
Are you inspired by what you hear today? Jason deeply appreciates his listeners taking their time to listening, downloading, and sharing The Hopeful Perspective Podcast. Please help me spread 'hope' to others by writing a review for the podcast making it reachable for all who need to be inspired, encouraged, and changed by hoping once again. Further, understand that downloading the podcast is a surefire way to help increase the algorithm thus the reach of The Hopeful Perspective, even if you delete the episode after listening so as to not affect your data storage. I have also provided a (Support the Show) link DIRECTLY ABOVE THIS PARAGRAPH to click on for those who have shared with me they are "all in" and feel called to financially support the mission and vision of The Hopeful Perspective. A special thank you to those who have made this humble step to financially support the podcast. Without you, there is no US!
Jason Hopkins can also be reached on Facebook as well as Instagram and Threads (jayhop9953). You can also follow 'The Hopeful Perspective' FB page; where you can find more information as well as learn about upcoming news and episodes on the The Hopeful Perspective Podcast.
Welcome to the Hopeful Perspective Podcast. I am your host, jason Hopkins. This podcast is designed to give you a perspective of hope that impacts your daily life in an authentic and tangible way. I aspire to give you a glimpse of how my own life has been impacted so tremendously, and so I chose to take six full episodes and share with you my own personal life story, which illustrates God's glory. Through experiences overcoming child abuse and trauma, 26 foster homes and institutions, various diagnoses affecting me throughout my life and an eventual brain tumor resulting in multiple brain surgeries on my brainstem, I have moved from merely a surviving victim to a faithful and thriving victor who the Lord has motivated to help others discover hope. Though my past was full of pain and suffering, I have been restored with purpose and sanctification. I have been redeemed and called to follow Christ within that redemption and renewed perspective. If you want to hear more of this transformation, I want to encourage you to listen to these first six episodes, if you have not already. If you have been able to, I now want to help you to develop and deepen a biblical and hopeful perspective as you approach differing situations in your own life, from the delightful to the difficult and everything in between, I do want to thank you for making the time to listen and, if you are able to, taking the time to download our podcast episodes, as when you download, along with rating our podcast with an honest response, you help the algorithm immensely to spread our reach. We have provided a few options to contact our show with your direct feedback, as I absolutely value your interaction. You can do so on your favorite podcast platform or even utilize our Facebook page, simply entitled the Hopeful Perspective. We would also invite you to support the podcast financially. If you're called to partner with us in bringing hope to a hurting world, just click the embedded links found on any episode you are downloading on your podcast platform.
Speaker 1:Before we get started today, I want to compel you to grab your favorite snack, hot or cold beverage. Get comfortable and come on this journey with me as we discuss my living with the traumatic brain injury and the impact it has had on me and my life the past few years. Though the journey has been difficult at times, jesus has been faithful to bring me through all the valleys and has grown so much fruit that I am excited to share with you. We left off the last episode where I had just discovered all the results from my one-year neuropsychological appointment that all patients who have been diagnosed with a TBI undergo. The emotional fallout of these findings were unlike any other that I had ever experienced. And, mind you, this is coming from a guy who has previously been diagnosed with the most advanced case of adolescent PTSD ever diagnosed, and then later diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder.
Speaker 1:Accepting all that it meant to live with the traumatic brain injury topped even the intense ramifications of those previous diagnosis, Realizing that my brain would be incapable, stamina-wise, of supporting a job that could help to provide for my family, ripped a significant part of my core purpose and what it means to be a husband and a father. That next year I went into a deep and dark depression, certainly another in what has been a series of dark nights of my soul. I spent literal months in my bed in both emotional and even physical pain. You see, one of the issues for my TBI following surgery was that I was dealing with pain on the right side of my body, from the top of my head to the tip of my toe, and it was as though you could draw a line down the center of my body to separate the half that experienced pain from the half that was pain-free. My doctor was doing everything to help me figure out the cause of this issue, and it wasn't until three years after brain surgery and me dealing with this pain, that a neurologist was finally able to diagnose me with what is called central pain syndrome. This occurs whenever a part of the central nervous system is affected or damaged, in my case the brain stem. Having the tumor and the subsequent surgery resulting in the neurological dysfunction, there is no cure for central pain syndrome. At its minimum, I feel as though I have a bad sunburn on my skin on the right side of my body. At worst, I feel as though somebody is drilling into my bones and I have to be hospitalized. I am treated with different nerve and pain medications, yet ultimately, I have learned to live with the disorder.
Speaker 1:So the first year I was living in physical and emotional pain within my bed, sleeping as much as I could, upwards of two to three days straight, where my wife and children were waking me up to make sure that I was even alive the darkest truth of the matter I was seriously considering taking my life, as I could not see myself living like this for the next 40 to 50 years without purpose and in so much emotional and physical pain. You see, whereas my family and I felt a lot of support the first six months or so following my brain surgery, at about the six-month mark it seemed like people just began to drift away. Once I resigned my position at the church as the one that had provided so much pastoral care and counseling for so many people for so many years was now in need of his own care, and there was really only one person who was actually willing to offer the level of care that I needed. The irony this person, who I see as a spiritual father and who mostly operates in the role of a pastor in whatever church he has been a part of in his life, from teaching to preaching, to caring for people he doesn't see himself in this role. Yet he is the one who lived this out week to week after my surgery, whenever I let him in, that is, and to this day is faithful to hang out on a regular basis.
Speaker 1:There will be more to come on this man of God moving forward, but in the dark night of my soul, the other people I once called good friends seemed to vanquish the couples my wife and I had relied on to provide love and support even went silent. We were struggling through this new reality where we were experiencing isolation and loneliness as a couple. I became confused, angry and saddened with God, my faith took a significant hit In processing everything I had felt. I had given so much to follow Christ. I had been so transparent in my journey up to this point through my transformation, only to have my life once again turned upside down at 38 years old Now. My purpose and calling were stripped, my personality and livelihood forever altered.
Speaker 1:When I was awake in bed, I began consuming atheistic content on YouTube and it began fueling my anger and my confusion. I was prepared to walk completely away from my faith in Christ. I wasn't even prepared to confess this reality to my wife, which I knew would further turn her world upside down. At the same time I'm experiencing this, I'm trying to remain present in my children's lives. Whereas I was once the coach of my son's basketball team, I am now just one of the spectating parents. Whereas I was once a responsible, level-headed and respected member of the local coaching fraternity, who you could say was led by the fruit of the Spirit, I was now in the stands with little self-control and getting into confrontations with parents from the opposing teams over petty issues that I would have never in my old role, in a million years and former self, have gotten into. My wife would find herself in the role of peacemaker.
Speaker 1:As well as trying to prepare me on the way to games to keep my mind and my mouth clear and controlled, I witnessed the stress of this mount over time upon her. This type of experience mirrored the issues we had on the home front with emotions and communication, and it further drilled into my mind the failures that I bore as a husband and a father. Such was this dark night of my soul Deep and dreadful depression, walking away from my faith, obsessive and compulsive thoughts regarding my failures and losses as a husband and a father. Months in my bed, suicidal ideation Something had to give or else I literally wasn't going to carry on much longer. And that's when I had an experience I had never before and haven't ever had since, and it was during one of my late-night gaming sessions that I am prone to have.
Speaker 1:Yes, one of the most powerful spiritual experiences of my life happened while I was playing Xbox. So, to set the stage, I was in our game room playing in the middle of the night, due to the fact that I was having one of my central pain syndrome flare-ups, which disable me from sleeping. As I was immersed in my game, I all of a sudden had a vision that appeared on my wall. The most bright light I had ever seen, with some sort of being appeared. I was absolutely blown away, as I have never been one to receive visions. The being identified himself as an angel of the Lord. What transpired was a conversation regarding existential topics such as the purpose of hell, clearly addressing my recent fascination with atheism and my own teetering with my faith. I'm sure at some point I will do another podcast series where I address this topic of hell, where I had undergone a score of research following this angelic experience of sorts, but until then, let's talk about what had occurred.
Speaker 1:And what transpired is difficult to put into words. All that I can say is I was taken on a journey with the assistance of this angelic being, where I was put into the form of the most microscopic being Think like a single cell organism. Where I was taken across time and space dimensions over several millennia, mind you when I was shown just a sliver of the mighty power of God, the Father and the Creator and what he possessed. Yet it's where I ended up. That was the most remarkable. I ended up in the arms of the Father, and this light was brighter than the first. He embraced me close to His heart, and the euphoria and the warmth I felt was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. He then spoke into my heart the purpose even of my recent pain and my suffering. The words I give you now do absolutely no justice to this experience, specifically how I am describing it this many years later. But just know, my friends, this vision and conversation changed my life, and out of it I was given a whole new purpose that led me out of the dark night of my soul and into the new purpose that the Lord had for me. Furthermore, I can say that this experience led to the formation of this very podcast, and even its name the Hopeful Perspective.
Speaker 1:I do not want to get ahead of myself, though. In order to be certain I was able to fully come out of the dark cave I had found myself in the past few years, a number of changes needed to be made, and this applied to my daily routine. I began taking notes as to what the Spirit was now downloading. To me, the most significant change was I needed to get into the Word daily. Now this is my opportunity to come clean and set some presumptions straight that some people may have about pastors, or at least I can tell you about this pastor in specific. You see, as a shepherd, I have led people through God's word the entirety of my ministry for 20 plus years.
Speaker 1:But as for my own devotional life, I have to admit that this wavered to and fro throughout my life. I attempted several times to do the daily devotions where I could read God's word in a year and somehow I'd miss a day and instead of getting back on the horse, I'd end up giving up 50 to 100 days in. I would always be jealous of the pastors I know who showed discipline in their spiritual life and, quite frankly, I felt like I would be found a fraud if people knew how inconsistent that I was in my own time in the Word. Don't get me wrong. I loved God my entire ministry, yet I always knew there was a passion and a level to loving Him that I was never reaching, and so it was after this vision in the dark night of my soul that I knew I truly needed to spend time with Him daily in the word. I truly needed to spend time with Him daily in the Word, and so the next day I started doing just that. The first year of my journey, I missed 11 days. The second year, I missed three. I am now on year number three and what I can tell you is, since I started being in His Word daily, my faith has never been the same. I am only saddened for the 25 to almost 30 years of my faith in Jesus where I missed out on the deep and vibrant faith and opportunity to go through the Bible that many times and to be with the author of these love letters to me and to you.
Speaker 1:The second change I needed to make was to eliminate all of the atheistic content I was consuming that was causing me to pull away and to rather pour in content that was honoring to the Lord. I sought out biblical content on YouTube and actually even found debates where Christians and atheists went head to head, which served to edify my faith. I listened to pastors on YouTube who spoke truth and life, who pastored me for the next couple years. And, third, I leaned into that man of God, the one who had already been there the past seven years since my brain surgery. Beyond that seven years actually he was present all throughout the times when it seemed no one else was. He had heard me crying out and even shouting out in anger to God. He was there during the dark night of my soul. I had shut him out for a time during my depression, but he was the one I turned to and is still here during this day, even as I prepare this recording. He will be coming over to meet in an hour to talk about my family, my marriage, and he is excited to hear about how this podcast is going. I'm sure he is eager to talk about the last episode, as I'm certain he's listened to it. Everybody needs a mentor who is as present as this man of God is in my own life.
Speaker 1:The last thing I want to discuss today isn't so much a daily routine or discipline that I added on to deepen my spirituality, but it was something that I had to do in order to move forward in my faith and also to be further transformed for my family as a husband and a father, and it was a process that literally took a number of years and trusting in the Lord to accomplish literally took a number of years and trusting in the Lord to accomplish. What I am talking about is that I had to grieve and to let go of the man that I was prior to brain surgery, with all of his purpose, his gifts, talents, his ministry, his personality, how his wife and his kids viewed him, etc. If you recall, I remember clearly all of what this was like, and the most difficult aspect was comparing myself today with who I was before, comparing the way that I talk, laugh, smile, argue. I used to feel so much shame not being able to provide for my family and, to be completely honest, I still am triggered with that shame by voices of the enemy here and there. I am going through therapy to this day to continue grieving the man that I once was, so that I can fully accept the man that the Lord has called me to be today for my family, a man that doesn't have to be super but needs to be present, faithful to God, accountable, a man that has been called to bring hope to a world that is in need.
Speaker 1:Now, my friends, regardless of where you are on your spiritual journey as it pertains to following Christ, I pray that, as you are listening, you are not undergoing mere information transference, but rather you are sensing the Spirit talking directly to you Because, friends, in my experience, the Holy Spirit is deeply personal and with Him there are no accidents, incidents, coincidences or instances where he is not weaving His redemptive work in your life. Rather, as we are joined together right now on a podcast, as Jesus declared 2,000 years ago from his hillside sermon, we have an opportunity to join the kingdom of heaven. You have reason to have significant hope in your life right now. Perhaps you are sensing the Spirit moving you toward him today throughout even this podcast, and I would be remissed if we left our time today without providing an opportunity for us to respond. And I want to pray for you right now. So, for anyone listening, I want you and your spirit to either agree with this prayer and lift those up, praying it for the first time to the Lord to be blessed and to be drawn to Him for the first time. To the Lord to be blessed and to be drawn to him.
Speaker 1:Lord Jesus, I sense you drawing me in. I hear your whispers and your beckoning and, though I do not understand them all, I want to acknowledge you in them. Now, for some of you, you've never said yes to Christ. This may be what you are sensing and I want to pray with you right now. Jesus, I repent of my sins and I surrender my life to you. Wash me and cleanse me from all unforgiveness and pride that has blocked me before. I believe that you are the Messiah and the one true God. You are the Son of God. I believe that you died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins and you rose again on the third day for my victory. I believe that in my heart, and I make confession with my mouth, that you, jesus, are my Lord and my Savior and that the kingdom of heaven is both now and forever.
Speaker 1:I want to live my life according to your terms and I want you to change my reliance from myself and any earthly vessels or vices in which I have previously placed hope. Instead, I want to trust your plan and ask for you to put the people, the processes and the plans to pursue forgiveness, restoration and recovery in my life. Where I am still feeling broken inside. I ask for you to reveal to me where I have neglected the needs of those around me who are broken, where I have become indifferent, incapable or have been unable to prioritize the people in my life who need to feel the hope of Christ. Make me sensitive and loving for their story. Show me where I am called to be a part of your mission, and I entrust myself to your equipping and sending, as you will. Thank you for being a God of mercy, a God of healing and a God of truth, a God of hope. Might I become a beacon of hope to the hurting. May I be one who shows and shares eternal life with those on their way to spiritual death. Make me your salt. Help me to be your light. Show me your ways, lord, give us the spiritual eyes to see on earth as it is in heaven. May our priorities begin to reflect your heart and your kingdom, for it's in your name, jesus, that we pray these things. Amen.
Speaker 1:If you have today agreed with this prayer from the depths of your heart, I either welcome you to the eternal family of God or perhaps you felt Jesus compelling you to return to him. You have been maybe gone away from the fellowship and restoration of the Lord and you hear Him calling you back today. Whether you are new to the family or returning, I say welcome home. And now I want to encourage you to find a church faith family who worships the Lord passionately, is committed to the teaching and preaching of the scriptures and is committed to serving the community and beyond. Also devote yourself to the reading of the scriptures, as there is so much to grow, learn and be discipled in as it pertains to new life and maturity in Christ. The Lord has so much in the way of hope to show His children in His love letters that he has written to them Hopeful family. This has been my absolute pleasure to spend the morning, afternoon or evening, whichever time of day it is for you, growing and learning with you.
Speaker 1:I look forward to tuning in next time on the Hopeful Perspective, where we continue discussing my journey dealing with the TBI and the lessons that you can personally use to draw near Christ and his kingdom through it all, and the lessons that you can personally use to draw near Christ and his kingdom through it all.
Speaker 1:Until then, I want to thank you for joining me along this journey, allowing me to share from my heart today and, if you'd be so kind as to follow, subscribe and, most importantly, rate and write a review for the others on your podcasting platform, others who may need the hopeful perspective in their life? And again, did you know that you could contribute financially to our show by pressing our support the show link that is embedded on your platform in the episode descriptions? If you believe in what we do, I would cherish your prayerful giving to the cause. I want to shout out my gratitude to the multiple new donors who have already made this commitment to support the podcast financially. Without you, it would not be possible to reach as many people with the messages we do, or anyone who needs to be reminded that hope is real. So thank you so much in advance and until next time time, remember you are loved.
